You touched the snail and perished. It will now spend your $10 million on unspeakable things in your name.

You are given $10,000,000 and the gift of immortality.

I accept

ah, well… there is one condition.

An immortal snail is chasing you.

Right now. It set off the moment you said yes.

  • It knows exactly where you are.
  • It never rests, never wanders, and never loses your scent.
  • It only ever moves toward you.
  • If it touches you, you die.
  • You cannot simply outlast it. You have forever. So does the snail.

So.

What would you do?

  1. You build a decoy snail.

    You cannot fool a snail.

  2. You pay another snail to seduce it.

    Snails are not romantics.

  3. You seal it in a concrete tomb.

    Concrete lasts a century, which is not an eternity.

  4. You bury it in Antarctica, inside a mason jar.

    As if climate change would not eventually bring me back.

  5. You move constantly. You never sleep in the same place twice.

    I have nothing else to do but learn your patterns.

  6. You live inside a bubble.

    You would have to come out eventually. And I'll be there.

  7. You move into a salt mine.

    You will run out of salt long before I run out of patience.

  8. You launch it into space.

    Orbits decay. Everything comes back down.

You will try everything.

You will try nothing.

In the end it comes to the same thing.

You are too late.

You had ten million dollars and all the time in the world. And yet... so did the snail.